Things I’ve learned along the way

I’ve said it too many times to count, this is a journey. For our family it has also been a gift. Dyslexia has truly impacted us…in challenging ways, but in positive ways too. The journey is different for everyone, but here are some of the things we’ve learned:

I’m no longer a pleaser.
You might have guessed this already from the name of my blog. In my former life, pre-dyslexia, I was a yes girl. Ask me to help out or volunteer and I would find a way. I was that person who was concerned that everyone in the room was happy. Dyslexia forced me out of my pleaser ways. Homework and tutoring alone take up way too much time to be saying yes all the time. And, when sitting in a case conference, if you are making sure everyone in the room is ok, odds are you’re not doing what’s best for your child.

Some people disappear.
Dyslexia isn’t for a moment, it’s for a lifetime. Some people in our lives don’t believe dyslexia is real or are uncomfortable talking dyslexia. Some think it’s like catching a cold, a minor struggle to get past and get over. It can be relationship changing when friends or family who are able to be supportive through everything else, just kind of shrink away when dyslexia is the topic.

While I am in this world, I am not of this world.
Not a new concept for us, but one that has really been reinforced through our struggle. This does not mean we give up on education, don’t work on reading and spelling, leave it all to go live in the forest foraging for roots and berries. However, while we continue to strive to do our best here, we also know that this world is not the end for us. The sum of who we are is not based on meeting the requirements of this world, but rather what we do through Him. I want my children to focus their eyes on God and the glory to come with Him. With teen suicide on the rise, and percentages being higher among students with LD, I want to ensure that the world my children are in is one where we strive to do our very best, but where God is ultimately the focus.

Good people with good intentions can get lost along the way.
It’s a cautionary tale. Really good people start out trying to make a difference for our kids, and sometimes get sidetracked. Policy, power, money, procedure, photo-ops, exhaustion and who gets credit can sometimes derail or distract good people who started with the best of intentions. With so much working against our kids, it sometimes seems an impossible task to keep all the humans moving toward the goal. This would be another place where God has come in for me…not only to prayerfully ask that all kids get what they need, but also that He help me keep MY eyes on the goal!

Ask!
There was a time when I wondered what I could ask for, wondered what they would do, let others constraints prevent me from saying what I wanted. No more. I’m not sure why I ever lived in that space. My questions now are no longer about what is possible, but rather they are driven by our needs. Regardless of expected outcome…always ask and keep asking!

Sometimes I want to move to Hawaii.
Everyone reacts differently. Some friends talk about homeschooling, some are warriors always, some cry, and others contemplate starting a llama farm! I admit it, sometimes I want to chuck it all and go live out our days on a beach, Hawaii is nice…right? This journey isn’t simply a struggle to get your kids to read. This journey is an educational, social, financial, and emotional roller coaster that doesn’t go away. Sometimes my light gets dim and my voice gets quiet. Sometimes it all seems a bit too much.

I’m not alone.
I remember at the beginning of our journey, even in a room full of people, how completely alone I could feel. If you have a struggling reader and haven’t found a network of other parents…find them! In all the struggle and all the fighting and all the work to get our children where they need to be, those moments of “you too” are crucial. To be around people who understand has made all the difference. They are my sanity and my safe haven in the storm. As a good friend says, they are winks from God.

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart. -Mahatma Gandhi

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. -A.A. Milne