Things I’ve learned along the way

I’ve said it too many times to count, this is a journey. For our family it has also been a gift. Dyslexia has truly impacted us…in challenging ways, but in positive ways too. The journey is different for everyone, but here are some of the things we’ve learned:

I’m no longer a pleaser.
You might have guessed this already from the name of my blog. In my former life, pre-dyslexia, I was a yes girl. Ask me to help out or volunteer and I would find a way. I was that person who was concerned that everyone in the room was happy. Dyslexia forced me out of my pleaser ways. Homework and tutoring alone take up way too much time to be saying yes all the time. And, when sitting in a case conference, if you are making sure everyone in the room is ok, odds are you’re not doing what’s best for your child.

Some people disappear.
Dyslexia isn’t for a moment, it’s for a lifetime. Some people in our lives don’t believe dyslexia is real or are uncomfortable talking dyslexia. Some think it’s like catching a cold, a minor struggle to get past and get over. It can be relationship changing when friends or family who are able to be supportive through everything else, just kind of shrink away when dyslexia is the topic.

While I am in this world, I am not of this world.
Not a new concept for us, but one that has really been reinforced through our struggle. This does not mean we give up on education, don’t work on reading and spelling, leave it all to go live in the forest foraging for roots and berries. However, while we continue to strive to do our best here, we also know that this world is not the end for us. The sum of who we are is not based on meeting the requirements of this world, but rather what we do through Him. I want my children to focus their eyes on God and the glory to come with Him. With teen suicide on the rise, and percentages being higher among students with LD, I want to ensure that the world my children are in is one where we strive to do our very best, but where God is ultimately the focus.

Good people with good intentions can get lost along the way.
It’s a cautionary tale. Really good people start out trying to make a difference for our kids, and sometimes get sidetracked. Policy, power, money, procedure, photo-ops, exhaustion and who gets credit can sometimes derail or distract good people who started with the best of intentions. With so much working against our kids, it sometimes seems an impossible task to keep all the humans moving toward the goal. This would be another place where God has come in for me…not only to prayerfully ask that all kids get what they need, but also that He help me keep MY eyes on the goal!

Ask!
There was a time when I wondered what I could ask for, wondered what they would do, let others constraints prevent me from saying what I wanted. No more. I’m not sure why I ever lived in that space. My questions now are no longer about what is possible, but rather they are driven by our needs. Regardless of expected outcome…always ask and keep asking!

Sometimes I want to move to Hawaii.
Everyone reacts differently. Some friends talk about homeschooling, some are warriors always, some cry, and others contemplate starting a llama farm! I admit it, sometimes I want to chuck it all and go live out our days on a beach, Hawaii is nice…right? This journey isn’t simply a struggle to get your kids to read. This journey is an educational, social, financial, and emotional roller coaster that doesn’t go away. Sometimes my light gets dim and my voice gets quiet. Sometimes it all seems a bit too much.

I’m not alone.
I remember at the beginning of our journey, even in a room full of people, how completely alone I could feel. If you have a struggling reader and haven’t found a network of other parents…find them! In all the struggle and all the fighting and all the work to get our children where they need to be, those moments of “you too” are crucial. To be around people who understand has made all the difference. They are my sanity and my safe haven in the storm. As a good friend says, they are winks from God.

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart. -Mahatma Gandhi

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. -A.A. Milne

The Binder

One of my parents asked me to bring the binder I’m always talking about to our parent group meeting the other night. I pulled mine out and she pulled hers out and it started a discussion among the group.

While I think all binders should be unique based on the student, the family, and the journey…it did make me think that it might be beneficial to share what I have put in mine. And, hopefully, I will hear from others who read this about what they find helpful to have in their binder.

Tabbed Sections (all information is in order with most current on top):

INITIAL EVALUATION – I keep a copy of the initial evaluation done by the schools which includes testing and results.

OUTSIDE EVALUATION – Any evaluations done by outside sources.

IEP’s – This section includes all IEP’s. I note the school year on the front page of each for easy reference. At some point, there will be too many of these and I will have to keep just a few years and make a second binder to house the older ones.

PROGRESS REPORTS – Here is where I keep all progress monitoring reported from the schools. When I receive new reporting, I reference against prior reporting.

CASE CONFERENCE NOTES – I keep copies of my outline going in to the case conference meeting and my notes that I took during the meeting. I often rewrite my notes that I took during the meeting as it’s hard to get everything written down in the meeting.

SPEECH/OT – I separate out speech and OT evaluations and reporting to find them easily.

RESOURCES – Here is where I keep information that I might want to reference during the case conference. This section has included articles on dyslexia & dyspraxia, brochures from local organizations, reading level charts used by the schools, and references to studies like Torgeson that outline the need for early intervention.

INTRODUCION – Each year I write a letter to anyone who will be working with my child. I keep the letters from each year as a reference for myself to easily see what I listed as challenges, strengths, needs, and behaviors/activities. My Introduction letters always include definitions of dyslexia & dyspraxia.

TIMELINE – I keep an updated timeline of my child’s school history that includes in-school and out-of-school interventions, reporting of levels, and anything that I feel impacted his journey. This is a bullet point list that is a quick reference. I also give this to the people who will be working with him each year.

TUTOR REPORTS – All feedback that I receive from tutors.

WORK SAMPLES – I keep samples that show success, show benefit of assistive technology, show challenging areas, and that show growth.

QUOTES & PICTURES – I include some of my favorite inspirational or dyslexia quotes and pictures on the cover. I want it to reflect my children and the passion that I have for them.

As I talk with other parents and even learn from parents in other states through the Decoding Dyslexia Movement, I am constantly updating these binders. They are a living breathing thing, as they should be because this is a journey that is constantly changing.

Please comment and share what kinds of things you track, keep in your binder, or have found useful on this journey. This is the time of year when I am reworking what I have…you might just share something that has to be included in my binder!

We all deserve the mountaintop

Only four more days left of school, and we are ready for summer! No matter how good the school year, we are always ready for a break. This year, though, truly has been one of the best yet.

After years of asking, we finally got a one-on-one Orton-Gillingham tutor, for my 5th grader, an hour each time, two times a week, during the school day. My Kindergarten son was also blessed with his classroom teacher who was trained in OG and used it in the classroom. Although not everything that I wanted was put in place, I feel like big moves were made toward that mountaintop.

Of course, I greedily want this year’s set up to continue next year. And, of course, I have asked for what I want. Luckily, at both the schools, there has been recognition of the difference it has made in both boys growth due to having OG instruction. Because of this recognition, both schools are sending their resource teachers to do OG training over the summer. My talks have extended past just the resource teachers, though, and in addition to requesting OG instruction in my parent comments section of the IEP, I’ve also asked that teachers be trained to understand dyslexia.

My schools have included this information into the IEP, but always seek to reassure me that all their teachers are good teachers and whoever my children get, they will be in good hands. I believe that I’m in a really good school system with well trained and caring teachers. But, I have to pause when I am reassured in this way…because having a caring, well-trained teacher is not enough when teaching a child with dyslexia.

Since around the 1920’s, the research and evidence around dyslexia and what works for the dyslexic learner has been building. If you visit the Yale Center for Dyslexia and Creativity‘s website, you will find a wealth of information. Enough is known now about dyslexia to support specific styles of instruction. I believe in these types of instruction (specifically for us it has been Orton-Gillingham) because I have witnessed the impact they have had on both of our children. One son suffered from falling way behind his peers (despite numerous response to intervention and special education services provided by a wonderful school system) who then made a huge come back through OG. And another son, very similar to his older brother, is currently on track due to his early OG intervention.

Telling a parent like me that it really won’t matter who he gets because all of our teachers are wonderful…well, it just isn’t good enough any more. If a child of mine has a specific illness that requires a certain type of treatment, I’m not going to send him to a general practitioner who has not been trained in that illness or it’s treatment. There are trainings to understand the dyslexic learner and there are trainings to learn the type of instruction that works best for the dyslexic learner. They are expensive and there aren’t enough of them…something we need to change. While I’m working to get what is best for my own children, I also am fighting through DDIN to change how the educational system works for all dyslexic children. Teachers need to be given the tools to understand the dyslexic learner. They need to be given training on the type of instruction that works best for these learners. We need to ensure that all children have access to what works best for them. It shouldn’t just be available to the people who are able to pay out of their own pocket.

So, while I am thankful and ready for a break from the school year…the work continues to ensure the appropriate instruction is put in place for all the 1 in 5 who have dyslexia.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. -Anne Frank

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it’s at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others. -Audrey Hepburn

The Open Schism

One of our favorite movie franchises is about to release another in their series…X-Men Days of Future Past. So, I thought this might be a good time to share Alex’s version of dyslexia. I must preface this by saying we are Christians, big Dr. Who fans, and big X-Men fans…all of which had a little bit of influence in his theory.

It was probably around the time he turned 10, when Alex came to me and said “Mom, I know what dyslexia is.” As I looked at him, I wondered where we were about to go with this, and then he said this:

“So, you know how people are born with dyslexia, right? Well, what happens is that when a baby is in his moms belly, the open schism happens. See, the open schism happens right about the time the baby is getting ready to come out. Just before that, God creates the schism, which is like a worm hole from God through the moms belly and into the baby. When that happens, God makes the babies brain a dyslexic brain. And, that is happening more and more. Do you know why? Well, you know how evolution works right? Things keep evolving, but then every once in awhile evolution takes a huge step forward…we dyslexics are going to be a part of the next huge step forward. We’re creative and outside of the box thinkers and stuff…we’re going to change things! That’s God’s plan.”

Definitely a sci-fi kid…and, one who makes me smile all the time with his theories. But, this is definitely a child embracing his dyslexia. And, I have no doubt that these kids can change our world. They are bright, creative, outside of the box thinkers who all should be given the chance and the support to reach however high they choose.

“Since the dawn of existence, there have always been moments when the course of history shifted. Such a turning point is upon us now: the conflict between the better and worst angels of our very nature, whose outcome will change our world so greatly there will be no going back. I do not know if victory is possible. I only know that great sacrifice will be required. And because the fate of many will depend on a few, we must make the last stand.” -Prof. Charles Xavier in XMen the Last Stand

“They can’t cure us. You want to know why? Because there’s nothin’ to cure.” -Storm in XMen the Last Stand

“God will not permit any troubles to come upon us, unless He has a specific plan by which great blessing can come out of the difficulty.” -Peter Marshall

A wonderful gift

This message recently landed in my inbox:

“I have been thinking of you and JT all year. With the new baby, I just have not reached out to you like I intended. I am truly sorry.

I am not sure the whole story, but I’ve seen your platform and JTs pics, (putting 2 and 2 together) Has he struggled with dyslexia? He is such a wonderful friend to my son … It hurts me to think he is having any kind of challenges. That being said, I really would love to be of support or help in any way? Can u educate me a little? With my little ones at home I’m not sure how I can help, but I thought I’d try to reach out and perhaps you need something that I’m capable of.”

Upon first glance…just skimming as I was rushing through the grocery…I thought this message was really sweet. Later, when I was actually able to read through the message I really appreciated the gentle, yet straightforward delivery and the recognition that while she may not understand our journey, she gets that it is a journey that impacts us and will continue to do so.

This made me think about my people, about all of the people in my life and how they have responded to our struggle. Some of my very close friends have been with me from day one…holding my hand, listening, sitting with me while I cry. And, then, other close friends rush past the topic and quickly change to a more comfortable one. Some family members have become educated and call with resources they’ve found and technology they’ve researched. While other family members avoid the topic like the plague. I think there are lots of issues out there that people just aren’t sure about how to approach. It makes them uncomfortable and likely the knowledge they have on the given subject is minimal, and it leaves them feeling ill equipped to start a discussion. Everyone reacts differently.

And, there are many parents who would rather not share with others and would like to keep things private. For someone on the outside of the struggle, it’s not always easy to tell if the person struggling wants to be approached or not. I, however, (if you haven’t guessed by now) am not one of those. We are “out” as a family about dyslexia. More than out, I am passionate about educating others and changing the face of education for dyslexics through DDIN, continuing to bring more parents into our parent group, and speaking to anyone who will listen about dyslexia and our story.

So, more than just being sweet…I saw this message as a huge breath of fresh air. I love that this friend reached out to say, I see that something is happening with you guys, I don’t completely understand it, but would welcome hearing more and being of any help that I can. What a gift she just gave me. Dyslexia isn’t a minor issue. Dyslexia is a part of one’s everyday life. Dyslexia can have an impact not only on the child’s educational life, but also on their social and emotional well being and on the financial well being of the family. It’s not a moment, it’s a journey. It’s a blessing to have people recognize and acknowledge the journey and offer their support as well.

“My friends and family are my support system. They tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear and they are there for me in the good and bad times. Without them I have no idea where I would be and I know that their love for me is what’s keeping my head above the water.” -Kelly Clarkson

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus -Romans 15:5

Walking for Dyslexia

Last year I got the opportunity to volunteer for the Dyslexia Institute of Indiana (DII) by acting as the head team captain for their Walking for Dreams (WFD) Family & Pet fundraising event. I love a walk! While it is a great opportunity to raise money, it has the possibility to be so much more. I signed up my own team, The Dyslexia Warriors, as soon as registration was open!

I put together an email giving a brief description of dyslexia, my children’s struggles, and how we found help at DII. I asked for people to either join my team or make a donation. I then sent this email to my entire contact list as well as posting on Facebook and Twitter and good old fashioned asking in person. I was thrilled to gain 15 team members from those efforts…including my youngest sons preschool teacher and my middle sons school principal. What a blessing to have them both join our efforts and what an opportunity for them to be able to support us in this way. My principal ended up being the individual on my team who raised the most money…but, even better, was that for about 20 minutes of the event she walked side-by-side discussing education and dyslexia with the Director of DII, Rosie Hickle! What an opportunity to connect people.

The number of people who donated from my email was probably fewer than 15. I was blessed, though, with some checks in the mail from people on my list who I hadn’t seen for years…with notes attached saying things like “I love you and the boys and I hope this helps!” I also received a couple of phone calls from people who didn’t end up walking or donating…but, rather, they had questions about the description of my children’s struggles and how they were recognizing the same things in their own children and I was able to connect them with help. Every single person I contacted was introduced to dyslexia. What an opportunity to educate.

We had 11 teams sign up under DII, with creative names like: Operation DII, Failure is not an option, Dream Makers, Best Friends, and Evan’s Big Bang Dyslexics. Teams held bake sales, yard sales, and dancing for dollars events. Kid participants decorated coffee cans to carry around with them to neighbors and to family events to collect “change for dyslexia”. Not only did these events help to raise money, but at every single point of contact someone was introduced to dyslexia and what DII can do to help. What an opportunity to raise awareness.

On the day of the walk, Camp Delafield Director Cheslea Hodges and her team showed up with green (DII’s logo color) cowbells. Lea Storm and her Storm Troopers team had green light sabers. Rosie and her Dream Makers team had green flower leis. Kids on my team had green hair. Kris Parmelee and her team all showed up in super hero costumes! What an opportunity for our community to come together and celebrate!

The walk, which included 39 other area non-profit organizations, takes place along the beautiful Canal in Downtown Indianapolis. As we walked that 3 miles, walkers from all the organizations were spread along the course. While the average size of the other groups was 15 to 30 participants, we ended up having 145 registered participants and many other walk-ins on the actual day. Our group was huge and spread out all around the Canal. As we walked we could hear other organizations members saying “There are more of those green t-shirts.” and “What are they walking for?” and “Oh, they’re here for dyslexia.” and “Wow, their group is huge!”. What an opportunity to illustrate the numbers of dyslexia and that 20% are dyslexic.

As the walk came to a close, our teams gathered on the steps near Bugg’s Temple. Awards were passed out and thank you’s were shared and cowbells were rung! One of the Organizers for WFD came over and presented Rosie Hickle with an award for having the most participants any group had ever had in their 9 year history. When he asked how we had done it…it was another opportunity to share that 1 in 5 are dyslexic.

We weren’t just there to walk a course for fundraising. We were there to show the size and spirit of our community! We were there to celebrate dyslexia. And, we were there to raise awareness for the 1 in 5 who are dyslexic.

We’re doing it all again this year. DII is participating in WFD on Sunday, May 18th at 2pm on the Canal in downtown Indianapolis. Team Dyslexia Warriors is already signed up! If you want to support the efforts of DII, if you are a part of the dyslexia community, if you love someone with dyslexia…YOU HAVE TO BE THERE! Join us!

If you are too far to join…create your own walk. It doesn’t have to be a fundraiser…it can simply be a walk to raise awareness and support for the 1 in 5!

The Roller Coaster

Spring Break has ended and now the count down to Summer has begun. Only 39 more days in this school year. It’s an anticipation to be free from the stress of the school year. It is an anxious feeling that the plan for this school year gets accomplished. Prayers to be closer to having closed that gap in reading. Preparations to ensure the plan is good for the next school year as well.

It’s like we’re constantly running a marathon. When those last few days of the school year come to a close, it won’t be to walk into an extended Summer break. We will assess what actually was accomplished through the IEP and look at what needs to be done moving forward. And, make plans for the tutoring that will happen during break.

It’s not like running on a straight track. It’s really more like a roller-coaster with a series of highs and lows. Moments of success and elation followed by the reality that the gap is still there staring us in the face. And, there’s no exiting at the end of the ride…just a brief stop before you start right back up again. Sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? It really is, and it’s an experience that is really understood best by parents in the same situation.

We do sometimes get down, defeated, overwhelmed and wonder if we’ll be enough for our kids. Advocating for a child with dyslexia is like taking on the job of rocket scientist with no prior training! But, in general, I find this community of parents to be tenacious, motivated, research-oriented people who possess wicked senses of humor! And, from what I gather from those on this journey for much longer than I, we are building a community like never before.

Parent groups like my own are popping up in school districts and counties and connecting with each other. The Decoding Dyslexia Movement has groups in 46 states who are all connected and working together. Where parents once rode this roller coaster alone, now we are becoming stronger through our connections to one another.

I recently had a parent tell me that I always seem so upbeat. It was wonderful to hear…but, not true…I’m not always upbeat. I definitely have those down times. I do have a secret weapon though in the form of these parents I have banded together with to walk along this journey. I hope they call on me when things are tough and they need to reach out. And, I am blessed and so very thankful that I have had them to lean on. They encourage, support and sometimes even laugh me right out of my slump and inspire me to continue to fight!

“Lean on me, when you’re not strong. And I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on!” -Bill Withers

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding.”
(Proverbs 3:5)

The Decoding Dyslexia Movement

The movement began with parents connecting on a train around the struggles of their children and the need for education to catch up to the years of evidence and research around what is known to be effective. This past weekend, Nanci and I travelled to New Jersey, for the Decoding Dyslexia Social Media Conference, to represent DDIN. Our first connection was with other state representatives, ironically enough, while we were waiting on the train platform at the airport to travel to Princeton, NJ.

Michelle, from DDOK and I quickly connected over the struggle parents face in getting what works for their children in school. When dyslexia is the subject, it only takes a few moments of talking to feel like you’ve known each other forever because the journeys are so similar and the passion runs so deep.

The conference was filled with tips and information about using social media to educate and reach out to families. Tina from DDPA shared my favorite new site, Scoopit, which has already given me back the gift of time! I sat at a table with Jill from DDOH, blogger of The Dragonfly Forest, Who was so touched by a video presentation, that she rushed to wipe the tears away as her presentation was next. I loved being able to sit with Jennifer, of DDGA, and Kim, from DDAR, and discuss tutoring centers. Jennifer, who runs her own center, was able to share her perspective with Kim about running a center and I was able to share my experience as a parent about receiving services.

At a reception following the conference, the conversations continued. I learned so much from Colleen, DDGA and Christine, DDNJ, about how through their PTA’s and work in the schools, they have been able to educate and make dyslexia a part of the conversation with teachers, administrators, and school officials. I saw Brittany’s, from DDVT, passion quickly come to the forefront when the topic of APD came up and she pushed her chair back and began talking with her hands. The rest of us scooted our chairs a little closer and leaned in to hear about her experience.

It was wonderful to also have some of our dyslexia community rock stars in attendance. I stood with a few parents listening as Susan Barton, creator of the Barton Reading & Spelling System and Bright Solutions, shared what first brought her into the dyslexia community and the passion that continues to drive her today. Throughout the conference, parents were able to get time with Ben Foss, of Headstrong Nation, creator of the Intel reader and author of The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan. It was so exciting to be able to connect with him in person and to hear his understanding of the struggle, but also his conviction for the possibilities ahead for our dyslexic kids.

Our conference was made possible through the support of The Emily Hall Tremaine Foundation and Learning Ally. It was organized by many of our parents across the country lead by the amazing Liz Barnes of DDNJ. It was successful because all of these parents are so passionate and driven, that they will travel anywhere for dyslexia…even Lisa, from DDAlaska, who spent an entire day on planes to get to the conference.

As we got back on the train at Princeton Junction to take us back to the airport, we were still talking dyslexia. Angela, from DDIL, was contemplating starting a blog. Several of us were encouraging Jennifer, also from DDIL, to switch careers and become a tech guru and educate others. And, as we were travelling, we saw on Facebook that DDWV returned home to their HB4608 passing in the House & Senate!

When I first found myself on this journey of being the parent of a struggling reader, I felt alone. The journey led us to a diagnosis, to seek help outside of school, to begin a parent group, and to finding other parents and forming DDIN. The Decoding Dyslexia Social Media Conference brought me together with positive, forward-thinking parents from across the country on a similar journey. Passionate warriors all, who are hopeful about the changes we are making and the future of education for all dyslexic children.

It said… slow learners need not apply

Today I opened my local paper and read a title that immediately made my blood pressure rise. The title said Slow Learners Need Not Apply.

I began to read the words of a woman who shared that she was glad she didn’t go into teaching and I can’t say enough how incredibly glad I am that she didn’t! She talks of people who are slow learners, who won’t learn…at least not quickly enough for her. And finishes with “if only you could shove knowledge into a person like cream filling into a doughnut”. Reading her entire article made me sick. And, I’m not sure what I find worse, that she wrote the article or that my local paper thought it was print worthy.

I am the mother of two dyslexic children and through our journey to understand why they struggle with language difficulties I have learned so much about different ways of learning.

There are some who walk among us who have beautifully different brains. Their brains were created as they are, their struggles are neurological in origin. While they are of average to above average intelligence, they may struggle with spelling difficulties, laborious or difficult reading, difficulty with working memory and difficulty expressing words either verbally or in writing…to name a few characteristics. Unfortunately many in our society link these difficulties with laziness, lack of intelligence and not caring about the task at hand.

If the co-worker from her article had been in a wheelchair, it would have been considered completely inappropriate for her to complain about how he didn’t move fast enough. If the co-worker had been blind, she would have seemed like a monster for complaining about them walking the office several times to understand the layout. Had the co-worker been born with only one arm and she criticized their inability to lift boxes as quickly as everyone else, people would complain about her heartless comments. physical barriers are very obvious, some have barriers that can’t be seen. They exist out of no fault of the person who struggles…yet, some can be so unforgiving of those kinds of differences.

If someone struggles to spell or reads slowly, they might be dyslexic. If someone takes many repetitions to learn, they may have a language learning difficulty. These difficulties don’t impede them from doing a job or accomplishing a task…they just might need to approach it differently. Why can’t we have understanding for that? Why can’t we treat those who learn differently with the same respect and patience we would give to someone in a wheelchair? Understanding that the barriers they might face make them no less a person, no less intelligent, and no less capable of greatness.

I am so thankful for the teachers in my children’s lives. I am so thankful that they know reading, spelling, writing, and processing speed are not indicators of intelligence. I am so thankful they know that my children struggle not because “they won’t learn”…but because they are trying so hard to learn. I want a world where people pause before they so easily dismiss and throw away those that learn differently.

It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences. -Audre Lorde

Live together or die alone

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” -Dr. Seuss

It keeps nagging at me that there are conversations that need to be had. I love hearing the stories from the parent group parents, each having unique children in the way their dyslexia presents, but inevitably having similar stories in the struggle to understand, identify and get appropriate interventions for their children. I am passionate through my work with DDIN about trying to change a system that is not working for those who are dyslexic.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately though about another group that I’m really wanting to talk to about education and have the privilege of hearing about their journey…that group is teachers/administrators. I was fortunate to be able to attend the Butler University showing of the movie Rise Above the Mark about the state of education in Indiana mostly told through the perspective of classroom teachers and their experiences.

It was a full educational weekend for me as I followed that Friday movie by attending the International Dyslexia Association’s Solution Saturday event. I had the opportunity to share my story as one of the breakout session presenters and was blessed with some parents in my audience, but a higher percentage of teachers. I shared how at the beginning of this journey that I didn’t have an understanding of how teachers and even administrators hands are so tied by the system within which they work. I had no clue of what they could and couldn’t say or do. As I spoke I recognized that one of the teachers in the audience seemed very frustrated and when it was time for discussion she shared some of her story.

She expressed appreciation for the recognition that teachers want so much to help their students and how hard it is when they don’t know what to do…or worse, when they know but are inside of a system that won’t allow them to act. She shared a recent situation of having two children she wanted to propose receive special education services…but, with tears in her eyes, shared that she was told that she would need to choose only one of them. Her voice broke as she shared how heartbroken she was at being given the unbelievable task of deciding which child to save and which child to leave behind. I saw in her the same frustration and passion expressed by our parent group parents each and every day. Our teachers love our kids. Our teachers went to school out of a great passion to educate and have now found themselves in a completely different place than they ever dreamed.

Most of the conversations I’ve had with educators have been one-on-one. And, I feel that they are careful about what they share. I get the impression that sharing their feelings about our educational system can be a risk for them. Interestingly enough, parents often hesitate to share their story out of fear it will negatively impact their child at school and also out of a feeling of shame or embarrassment.

I think that being quiet has caused some to end up on “sides”. Parents frustrated with teachers believing that teachers are choosing not to act on behalf of their child while the child continues to struggle and fall behind. Teachers frustrated with parents believing parents don’t care about teachers, are unaware, and for blaming them for what happens to the child. I’m not saying all parents and teachers…but, this is definitely happening with some.

We need to start sharing our stories with each other, listening to each other, and letting that be the beginning of conversations. Bottom line is that we all want these kids to succeed. Those of us, parents and teachers, who are willing to start conversations…need to. And then we can work together to bring those who are hesitant or unaware into the conversation as well. The system is the only one who goes on blissfully if we continue to keep to ourselves…quietly frustrated about our situations. Though I’m sure we won’t agree on everything, starting to understand each others struggle might begin the chance for us to work side by side to make things better.